Prepare yourself for a mind-boggling journey into the world of science, where living with a fluffy animal is the secret to warding off inflammatory bowel disease, autoimmune issues, allergies, and even mental health problems. Get ready for a glimpse into what a health care encounter in the 21st century might just look like. Trust me, it’s going to be a wild ride!

Scene 1: Dr. Barkster’s Office

Dr. Barkster (raising an eyebrow): “Mrs. Paw-some, forget about your traditional prescriptions, because I have a prescription that will blow your mind! Say hello to the furriest remedy out there – a dog!”

Mrs. Paw-some (taken aback): “A dog? But Doctor, won’t our house turn into a hairy chaos zone?”

Dr. Barkster (grinning): “Oh, Mrs. Paw-some, let me tell you, the wonders of fur-therapy are worth every lint roller in existence! Brace yourself for the fur-filled adventure I’m about to unfold.”

Scene 2: The Immune System Superhero

Dr. Barkster (striking a superhero pose): “Imagine a furry dog as your child’s immune system superhero, ready to tackle autoimmune diseases like a true champion! Recent studies show that early exposure to furry dogs can boost the immune system’s resilience, reducing the risk of developing autoimmune issues.”

Mrs. Paw-some (excited): “So, you’re saying a furry dog can be our child’s very own shield?”

Dr. Barkster (nodding): “Exactly! By bringing a dog into your family, we’re empowering your child’s immune system, one wag at a time!”

Scene 3: The Mental Health Marvel

Dr. Barkster (putting on a detective hat): “Hold on tight, because the mental health benefits of furry dogs will blow your mind! They’re like cuddly therapists with wagging tails. They offer unconditional love, endless belly rubs, and they’re the perfect built-in antidepressants!”

Mrs. Paw-some (laughing): “So, our dog will be our very own four-legged therapist?”

Dr. Barkster (smiling): “You got it! Dogs have this incredible ability to reduce stress, anxiety, and even improve social interactions. Plus, they’ll help your child develop empathy and a sense of responsibility.”

Scene 4: Finding the Paw-fect Match

Mrs. Paw-some (curious): “But Doctor, how do we find the right furry companion for our child’s optimal health?”

Dr. Barkster (serious yet humorous): “Ah, the quest for the paw-fect match! It begins with considering your child’s personality, activity level, and your family’s lifestyle. Is your child an energetic explorer or a snuggly bookworm? Are you a family of adventure seekers or more of a cozy homebody bunch?”

Mrs. Paw-some (enthusiastically): “We’re definitely a lively bunch!”

Dr. Barkster (chuckling): “Well then, a playful and energetic breed might be just the ticket! But don’t forget, shelter dogs are often paw-some choices too, so give them a chance to wiggle their way into your hearts!”

Scene 5: The Apocryphal Algorithm for Choosing the Perfect Breed

Dr. Barkster (with a mischievous smile): “Ah, Mrs. Paw-some, I have a little secret algorithm up my sleeve that can help you choose the perfect breed based on your child’s medical needs!”

Mrs. Paw-some (intrigued): “An algorithm? How pawsitively intriguing, Doctor! Do tell!”

Dr. Barkster (clearing his throat dramatically): “Behold, the Apocryphal Algorithm for Choosing the Perfect Breed!”

Allergy Avengers: If allergies are an issue, fear not! Look for hypoallergenic breeds like Poodles, Bichon Frises, or Portuguese Water Dogs. They’ll keep the sniffles at bay while providing endless cuddles.

Anxiety Alleviators: For anxiety relief, consider breeds like Cavalier King Charles Spaniels or Golden Retrievers. Their calm and gentle nature will soothe those frazzled nerves.

ADHD Energizers: If your child has energy to spare, go for breeds like Border Collies or Australian Shepherds. These energetic bundles of fur will keep up with all the endless activities and games.

Depression Defeaters: To combat the blues, breeds like Labradors or Beagles are perfect. Their playful antics and unwavering loyalty will bring smiles and joy to even the gloomiest of days.

Dr. Barkster (waving his hands like a magician): “And voila! The Apocryphal Algorithm presents you with a list of potential breeds to consider, tailored to your child’s medical needs. But remember, this algorithm is purely apocryphal, so be sure to consult with a professional before making any decisions!”

Mrs. Paw-some (laughing): “Doctor, you truly have a flair for the theatrical! Thank you for guiding us through this fur-filled journey.”

Scene 6: The Microbiome Marvels: Dogs, Soil Bacteria, and Healthier Homes

Dr. Barkster (raising an eyebrow): “Mrs. Paw-some, brace yourself for another mind-blowing discovery! Did you know that dogs can actually change the microbiome of humans to a healthier mix?”

Mrs. Paw-some (intrigued): “Dogs and microbiomes? That’s fascinating, Doctor! How does it work?”

Dr. Barkster (excitedly): “Hold on tight! When dogs dig in the soil, they unwittingly bring soil bacteria into our homes. And here’s the kicker: when they give their human housemates a loving lick, they introduce those beneficial bacteria into our bodies!”

Scene 7: The Soil Spectrum in the Apocryphal Algorithm

Dr. Barkster (adjusting his spectacles): “Now, let’s incorporate the magnificent world of soil into our Apocryphal Algorithm! Different soil types that dogs interact with can bring diverse bacteria, offering unique health benefits.”

Rich Loamy Licks: If your dog enjoys digging in nutrient-rich, loamy soil, they might introduce beneficial bacteria associated with improved digestion and nutrient absorption. Consider breeds like Labrador Retrievers or German Shepherds, known for their earthy explorations.

Sandy Salutations: Sandy soils bring their own set of health benefits. Breeds like Dalmatians or Greyhounds, who enjoy frolicking on sandy beaches or in sandboxes, may introduce bacteria associated with skin health and reduced allergies.

Clay Kisses: If your furry friend loves digging in clay-rich soil, they might bring in bacteria associated with a stronger immune system. Breeds like Airedale Terriers or Staffordshire Bull Terriers, known for their enthusiastic digging skills, might be just the companions for a clay-inspired microbiome boost.

Peaty Pooch Pals: Dogs fond of exploring areas with peat soil can introduce bacteria associated with improved mental health and reduced inflammation. Breeds like Border Terriers or Irish Setters, who enjoy hikes in boggy areas, might be the perfect peaty pooch pals.

Dr. Barkster (with a grin): “Remember, this soil-inspired algorithm is purely fictional but showcases the fascinating connection between dogs, soil bacteria, and our health.”

Mrs. Paw-some (laughing): “Doctor, you never cease to amaze! Our furry friends truly bring the magic of nature into our homes.”

Epilogue:

Dear readers, while the soil-inspired microbiome marvels may be an intriguing concept, the love, companionship, and joy a furry dog brings into our lives are undeniable. So, embrace the pawsitivity, let your child’s health thrive, and embark on an adventure with a four-legged friend who will not only leave paw prints on your hearts but potentially beneficial soil bacteria too! And remember, if you decide to welcome a furry companion into your home, make sure to consult with a healthcare professional to find the best fit for your family and always keep those lint rollers handy!

Our human engagement with infections is played out daily through our immune system. Ironically, we are dependent upon our commensal microbes that happily reside in our bodies to assist in the fight against environmental, viral and bacterial invaders.  Over one hundred trillion bacteria and untold fungi, archaea and microscopic multicellular microbes take up residence in the gut after birth.  These microbes are a virtual army responsible for innate immunity and the initial fighting response to pathogenic agents. Furthermore, these bacteria contribute forty times more genes in the gut than human genes in the entire body. The exact role of these genes is uncertain, but they may produce proteins that may influence the bodies fighting power.  It is believed this gut bacterial diversity and their metabolites protect us by establishing an intact mechanical barrier, facilitating the release of bacterial and human antimicrobial chemicals and competing with pathogens for nutrients. They trigger the inflammasome, a coordinated release of immune stimulating chemicals (cytokines) that arm the lymphocytes, macrophages, neutrophils, dendritic and plasma cells that produce the coordinated inflammatory response.  A delayed innate response can result in a virus that gains a foothold that cannot be stopped. Similar to friendly fire, an over exuberant immune response can injure tissue from toxic inflammatory chemicals long after the pathogen has been vanquished.

Older age, diabetes and obesity are clearly risk factors for severe adverse outcomes with COVID-19. The common metric of these risks are a dysfunctional immune response. A slow initial response or an unregulated and injurious inflammatory reaction can result in devastating consequences for the infected host.  The gut microbes and their genes, the so called microbiome, are fundamental for a proper defense to infectious agents. A healthy microbiota is still being defined, but with new molecular biological techniques, a diverse population of organisms is critical to drive down the middle lane of life–away from infectious disease and autoimmune/allergic disorders. Altered microbiota or dysbiosis, is the hallmark of obesity and diabetes. And our country is flush with these risks. Over 40% of the U.S. is obese, representating a four-fold increase in prevalence since the 1960’s.

The microbiota can be malleable and is dictated by food for good or bad. And, food choices in our country may have steered us into more fatal outcomes with COVID-19. Processed food, hydrogenated and trans fats, high fructose corn syrup, larger portion size with higher calories and antibiotic tainted meats have assaulted the beneficial microbes in us. Could this be one of the reasons we are the leading country in COVID-19 cases and deaths?

Social distancing and masks are first line defenses against the Coronavirus fight.  Food choices MAY be another volitional pathway to maintain health. Fermented foods can select for beneficial commensal bacteria that make-up one’s microbiota. Greek yogurt, sauerkraut, tempeh, kimchi, and miso can favor the growth of Lactobacilli and Bifidobacter genera, both known to be healthy members of the microbiome.  Germany, Korea and Japan have low per capita rates of disease, attributed to timely public health measures and widespread COVID-19 testing. Might these differences be partly explained by eating sauerkraut in Germany, kimchi in Korea and miso in Japan?  Do some long standing cultural food preferences select for a healthier microbiome that is protective for Coronavirus infection or helps to modulate an appropriate immune response?  It seems to this clinician that it’s worth a clinical study as we, the people of every culture and nation, come together to collectively look to each other for any possible clue to mitigate the ravages of this virus.