The Quest for the Perfect Black-and-White Cookie

Some people chase fame, fortune, or adventure. Me? I chase black-and-white cookies. Not just any black-and-white cookie, but the best black-and-white cookie. It’s a mission of love, nostalgia, and a deep appreciation for this perfect half-vanilla, half-chocolate confection. My journey has taken me from my childhood favorites to long-lost bakeries and, most recently, to a packed market in Florida where I came agonizingly close to my prize but left empty-handed.

A Love Letter to the Black-and-White Cookie

If you’ve ever bitten into a true black-and-white cookie, you know there’s something magical about it. It’s not really a cookie at all—it’s more of a cake, soft and slightly domed, with a smooth glaze of half-vanilla, half-chocolate icing. The beauty is in its simplicity and balance. There’s no need for fillings, sprinkles, or any unnecessary embellishments. It’s just pure harmony in dessert form.

For me, black-and-white cookies are more than just a treat. They are nostalgia. They are childhood. They are a connection to the past, to bakeries that no longer exist, to neighborhoods that have changed, and to a time when every bite felt like an event. Finding a truly great black-and-white cookie is like recapturing those moments, and that’s why I continue my quest.

A Bite of History: Where Did the Black-and-White Cookie Come From?

The black-and-white cookie has roots that stretch back over a century. While often associated with New York, its origins are debated. Some trace it back to Bavarian immigrants who brought over similar glazed cookies. Others attribute its rise to Glaser’s Bake Shop, a German bakery on the Upper East Side of Manhattan that opened in 1902 and sadly closed in 2018.

The cookie was popularized in Jewish bakeries throughout New York, and its fame only grew as delis and diners embraced it. The perfect black-and-white has a thin layer of fondant-like icing, not thick frosting. The vanilla side should be bright and smooth, while the chocolate side should have a rich cocoa depth—not just a sugary smear of brown. The cookie itself must be tender but sturdy enough to hold the glaze.

Seinfeld fans may remember the famous “Look to the cookie!” episode, where Jerry and Elaine discuss the black-and-white cookie as a symbol of racial harmony. And while I appreciate the cultural commentary, my love for black-and-whites isn’t political. It’s deeply personal.

The Double-Decker Black-and-White of Adventurers Inn

One of the greatest black-and-white cookies I ever encountered wasn’t a standard one at all. It was a double-decker black-and-white cookie from the bakery counter at Adventurers Inn in Queens.

Adventurers Inn was an amusement park, and like all great childhood memories, it felt larger-than-life at the time. They had games, rides, and, most importantly, an unbelievable black-and-white cookie. This wasn’t just any black-and-white. It was a two-layered marvel—double the cake, double the icing, double the joy.

The first time I saw it, I was in awe. It was as if someone had looked at a standard black-and-white and said, “This is great, but what if we made it even better?” The bottom layer had the classic glaze, and the top was a second cookie stacked on top, creating the ultimate black-and-white experience.

Sadly, Adventurers Inn closed long ago, and with it went my beloved double-decker black-and-white cookie. It remains a ghost of my childhood, an unattainable dream. But like any true black-and-white enthusiast, I refuse to believe that was the last of its kind. Maybe, just maybe, someone out there is still making them.

My Frustrating Visit to Boy’s Market in Delray Beach

Recently, my search for the best black-and-white cookie took me to Boy’s Market in Delray Beach, Florida. Word had spread that they had a truly excellent version—one worth the journey. And so, filled with anticipation, I made my way there, eager to see if it could compare to the legends of my past.

The moment I stepped into Boy’s Market, I knew I was in trouble. The bakery counter was five people thick—five people thick. It wasn’t just crowded; it was a full-on mob scene. People were jostling for position, shouting orders, and clutching their precious baked goods like they had just won the lottery.

I tried. I really did. I stood there, waiting for an opening, hoping for a moment where I could slip in, point at the black-and-white, and secure my prize. But it was hopeless. The counter was a battlefield, and I wasn’t willing to engage in open combat for a cookie.

So I left. Defeated. No black-and-white in hand. But I didn’t leave without hope. Because if a bakery counter is that crowded, it means the cookies must be that good. It means my journey is not over. It means that someday—maybe on a quieter day, in a less frenzied moment—I’ll make it back and finally get my hands on what might be one of the great black-and-white cookies of my time.

The Search Continues

My quest for the perfect black-and-white cookie is never-ending. It’s a pursuit of taste, texture, and nostalgia. I seek out bakeries, I listen to recommendations, and I remain ever hopeful that somewhere, out there, the best black-and-white cookie still awaits me.

Maybe it’s in a hidden gem of a bakery I have yet to discover. Maybe it’s tucked away in a deli where the owners have been making them the same way for 50 years. Or maybe, just maybe, someone out there is making a double-decker black-and-white, waiting to be found.

Until then, I’ll keep looking. Because some things in life are worth the chase. And for me, the black-and-white cookie is one of them.

The Tragic Tale of TV Theme Songs: From Gilligan’s Island  to Whatever This Is Now

Ah, the 1960s and 1970s when TV theme songs were more than just filler. They were spectacles. They were anthems. They were the reason you sat through the credits, pretending to pay attention while your popcorn got cold and your sibling snatched the last cookie. But today? TV theme songs have become like the sad parsley on a microwaved dinner unnecessary and mostly forgotten. Let’s take a wild ride through the glory days of TV theme songs, from The Beverly Hillbillies to Gilligan’s Island and then to the sad, meme-driven shadow of today’s intros.

The Glory Days: When TV Theme Songs Were Basically Broadway

Back in the good old days, TV theme songs weren’t just there to fill air time, they told entire stories. They set the stage, introduced the characters, and gave you everything you needed to know in a minute or less. Take The Beverly Hillbillies, for instance. That banjo-fueled ballad didn’t just say, “Hey, the Clampetts got rich and moved to Beverly Hills” No, no. It invited you into their world, where you could almost smell the cement pond and taste the possum stew. You felt like you were right there, sitting on the front porch in a rocking chair, staring at their brand-new mansion.

And then there’s Gilligan’s Island. The Ballad of Gilligan’s Island wasn’t just a theme song, it was a full-on epic. In less than a minute, it not only explained why seven people were stranded on a deserted island, but also gave you their names, jobs, and a helpful warning that the weather started getting rough.It was Homers Odyssey, but with more coconuts and fewer monsters. If you didn’t know the lyrics to that song, well, you might as well have been from a different galaxy.

The Decline: When Theme Songs Became the Sad, Overlooked Stepchild

Now let’s talk about what happened to TV theme songs as we entered the age of streaming, smartphones, and the complete destruction of patience. Today’s theme songs are like the intro credits of The Office, short, forgettable, and so uninspired that even the animated sequence feels like it’s just phoning it in. In fact, modern shows treat theme songs like a necessary evil, something to slap together so they don’t get sued for not having one. Now, they’re lucky if we get a 10-second jingle that barely manages to say, Hey, this is a show, before its done and we’re on to the next scene.

What happened? Did we suddenly decide that listening to full songs was too much of a commitment? Did Netflix declare, Sorry, theme songs, we’re all about the plot twists and memes now? Or did every banjo player in Hollywood just retire? (Seriously, where are all the banjo players?)

The Beverly Hillbillies vs. Modern TV: A Tale of Two Eras

Let’s break it down, shall we?

 The Beverly Hillbillies: A glorious minute of banjo strumming that gives you everything Jed Clampett, his kinfolk, and how they went from being poor mountain folk to Beverly Hills royalty. A true rags-to-riches anthem. You didn’t just watch it, you hummed along.

 Modern Show: A five-second instrumental that sounds like a kitten tiptoeing across a Moog synthesizer. You don’t learn anything about the characters, the plot, or why you should care. You’re left wondering if you accidentally clicked on a screensaver.

It’s like comparing a five-course meal to a stale cracker. One’s rich with flavor and history, the others are just there.

Gilligan’s Island vs. Streaming Services: A Three-Act Tragedy

Now, let’s pit Gilligan’s Island against the modern streaming era:

 Gilligan’s Island: A full-blown ballad that explained everything in under a minute. You knew who was on that island, why they were there, and how long they’d be stuck (spoiler: a three-hour tour). It was the perfect blend of exposition and entertainment.

 Streaming Show: A 10-second loop of ambient noise that doesn’t even try to explain what’s happening. You’re left wondering if you accidentally clicked on the Welcome to 1998 screensaver on your desktop.

It’s like Shakespeare writing Macbeth and modern TV offering up a text message that just says K.

The Why of It All: What Happened to TV Theme Songs?

So, what happened? How did we go from The Beverly Hillbillies to whatever is happening now? Some might say it’s the rise of streaming and the skip intro button. Others might blame the constant need for instant gratification. Who has time for a full song when you can just dive into the plot with minimal effort? The attention span of viewers has drastically shrunk, and I’m sure TikTok isn’t helping.

But the real loss here is the joy that a great theme song can bring. A good theme song was like a friend you could rely on familiar, exciting, and always there for you. Sure, they might’ve been a little cheesy, but that’s part of their charm. We miss the days when the theme song could make or break a show.

A Call to Action: Bring Back the Theme Song!

I know you’re out there, TV producers. You may have forgotten about the power of a good theme song, but I haven’t. We need to bring back the iconic, catchy, slightly ridiculous theme songs that made us sing along and set the mood for every episode. Give us something that lasts more than the time it takes to grab a snack.

Until then, I’ll be here, humming the Gilligan’s Island theme and waiting for the day when a show dares to give us a theme song worthy of a standing ovation.

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale…

Journey Through Time: Hiking Stevens Cascade Trail #056 in the Wasatch Range

In the grand tapestry of geologic time, the Wasatch Range is a relatively young creation, formed millions of years ago when the forces of plate tectonics lifted the mountains from the floor of the Cretaceous Seaway, a vast inland sea that once spanned much of North America. As the land shifted and rose, what was once a shallow marine environment became a towering range of mountains that now rise above the valleys of northern Utah. To walk through this range is to step back into time, touching the remnants of an era when dinosaurs roamed these lands, and primordial lakes shimmered in the sunlight.

Today, as humans, we are privileged to explore these mountain trails, witnessing the beauty of creation in its most elemental form. It’s not just rock and soil beneath our feet, but the accumulated artistry of nature over eons—crafted by forces far beyond our control, yet generously shared with us.

One of the most enchanting ways to experience this ancient landscape is through the Stevens Cascade Trail #056, a beautiful hike nestled in the heart of the Wasatch Range, near Sundance, Utah.

The Path Through a Living Tapestry

The Stevens Cascade Trail winds through the dense forests and open meadows of the Wasatch Range, showcasing an array of tree species that thrive in this alpine environment. Towering Douglas fir, blue spruce, and quaking aspen create a canopy of green, offering both shade and beauty to hikers. In the spring and summer months, wildflowers such as Indian paintbrush, lupine, and columbine bloom in vibrant colors, carpeting the meadows and contrasting with the rugged mountain backdrop.

As you walk the trail, you are surrounded by the hum of life. The melodic song of birds, the soft rustle of leaves in the wind, and the occasional sight of a deer or moose grazing quietly remind you that this is not just a place for humans, but a sanctuary for wildlife. The Wasatch Range is home to a variety making every hike a true wilderness experience.

The Waterfall: Stevens Cascade

One of the trail’s most captivating features is the Stevens Cascade, a waterfall that tumbles gracefully down a series of rocky ledges, creating a peaceful, almost meditative atmosphere. The sound of the rushing water, combined with the sight of it glistening in the sunlight, is enough to leave you mesmerized. This waterfall, fed by snowmelt from the peaks above, serves as a reminder of the vital role water plays in this ecosystem. It nourishes the trees, the flowers, and the wildlife, and refreshes the weary hiker who comes across it.

The trail to the waterfall is moderate in difficulty, with a few steep sections, but the reward of reaching Stevens Cascade is well worth the effort. As you stand before the waterfall, you can feel the cool mist on your face and hear the soothing sound of water cascading over rock—an invitation to pause, breathe, and appreciate the wonders of nature.

Sundance Resort: A Legacy of Preservation

The Stevens Cascade Trail is just one of many natural wonders surrounding Sundance Mountain Resort. Founded by actor and environmentalist Robert Redford in 1969, Sundance Resort has become a hub for outdoor enthusiasts and nature lovers. Redford’s vision was to create a place where people could connect with the environment while preserving the natural beauty of the area. His efforts have helped maintain the pristine conditions of the resort and its surrounding trails, ensuring that future generations can continue to enjoy the wilderness.

Redford’s commitment to conservation is evident in every aspect of the resort, from the sustainable building practices to the emphasis on environmental education and the arts. Sundance isn’t just a destination for skiing or hiking—it’s a place where people are encouraged to reflect on their relationship with the natural world and to become stewards of the land.

The Wild Symphony

Throughout the seasons, the landscape of Stevens Cascade Trail changes, offering hikers a new perspective each time they visit. In spring, the meadows are alive with the soft colors of blooming wildflowers, and the trees are flush with new leaves. By summer, the sun casts golden rays across the mountains, and the wildflowers are in full bloom. Fall brings a breathtaking display of color as the aspens turn golden yellow and orange, contrasting with the deep green of the conifers. Even in winter, the trail is transformed into a peaceful wonderland of snow and ice, with the waterfall partially frozen in time.

And amidst all of this natural beauty, there’s a deep sense of reverence that one cannot help but feel. We are, after all, just visitors here. The mountains, the trees, the animals—they have been here long before us and will remain long after we’re gone. But for a brief moment, we are given the privilege of walking among them, of witnessing the raw beauty of God’s creation.

A Hike for All Time

The Stevens Cascade Trail #056 is more than just a hike—it’s an invitation to reconnect with the earth, to appreciate the complex and delicate web of life that sustains us all. As you walk this trail, you’re reminded of the ancient forces that shaped the land and the living things that call it home. Whether you’re standing before the waterfall, watching the wind ripple through the aspens, or catching a glimpse of a wild animal in the distance, you can’t help but feel a sense of gratitude.

Here, in the Wasatch Range, where mountains rise from the floor of an ancient sea and life flourishes in abundance, we are offered a glimpse into the very heart of creation. And in that moment, we are reminded of the immense privilege it is to walk this earth, if only for a short while.

Pictures and Musings from New York City

Beatles Quiz: Program from Beatles concert at Carnegie Hall 1964: Spot the Error!

Auditioning for a Liberty Mutual Ad

Capitalism’s Answer to Anxiety and Depression in Today’s Society

Plaque on Park Avenue and 37th Street honoring Mary Lindley Murray, a Revolutionary War Hero who served tea to General Howe’s troops, delaying their pursuit of George Washington’s troops and saving the nation. Why don’t we drink tea honoring this beverage that saved the Union?

The first piano from 18th century Italy (Pianoforte, Bartolemeo Cristofori 1655-1731). Marked the beginning of the decline of the Harpsichord Industry.

Protests: Then and Now: History Matters

Reflecting on the recent surge of protests on college campuses regarding the Israeli-Gaza conflict, I’m struck by the echoes of past demonstrations. Having been both a participant in earlier protests and now an observer of current events, I can’t help but draw on my own experiences to shed light on the similarities and profound differences between the two.

Protest movements start with a belief and idea, challenged and changed by special interests and ultimately hardened by money, mobs and weaponry.

In the 1970s, I was actively involved in protests against U.S. Foreign Policy during the Vietnam War. At that time, like many others, my understanding of the conflict was shaped by what I was taught in high school and what I saw in the media. The prevailing narrative portrayed Communist Vietnam as a dire threat to Southeast Asia and the American way of life, invoking the Domino Theory to justify U.S. intervention.

However, my perspective shifted when I entered college and was exposed to different viewpoints, particularly through the teachings of professors at New York University. They challenged the credibility of the Domino Theory, pointing to evidence that contradicted the official narrative. This newfound knowledge had profound implications, especially for those of us who were of draft age, as it exposed the true motivations behind U.S. involvement in Vietnam: financial gain for military manufacturers and the perpetuation of the military-industrial complex. 

Moreover, my involvement in protests during that time exposed me to the harsh reality of government suppression and violence. Instances like the infamous clashes in Chicago and Washington D.C.(where I had a serving of tear gas)  served as stark reminders of the lengths to which those in power would go to quell dissent.

Fast forward to today’s protests on college campuses, and I can’t help but draw parallels and differences to what is occurring now.  As a former student of USC Medical School and a prior employee at Columbia University, I know and experienced the historical Jewish influences in both institutions. Given this background, it is disquieting, witnessing the alarming rise of anti-Semitic rhetoric and the uncritical support for the Palestinian cause, often coupled with indirect endorsements of Hamas, a terrorist group defined by the U.S. and neighboring Arab nations.

This shift in discourse is puzzling, especially given the historical significance of Judaism in intellectual and collegiate life. It seems that the true history of Zionism, born out of a response to European colonialism and centuries of Jewish persecution, has been conveniently overlooked or distorted. Similarly, the violence perpetrated against Jewish communities in Palestine during British rule has been swept under the rug, along with Israel’s defensive actions against relentless attacks by neighboring Arab states.

One cannot ignore the role of financial interests in shaping these narratives. Arab states, particularly Qatar, have poured significant funds into academic institutions, influencing discourse and faculty appointments and fostering pro-Palestinian sentiments as well as funding the underground tunnels and offensive weapons used by Hamas against the State of Israel.. As a result, Israel, once seen as a beacon of hope born out of the ashes of the Holocaust, is now portrayed as an oppressive state in the eyes of many on college campuses.

Yet amidst the rhetoric and polarization, it’s important to remember the human cost of the conflict. Innocent Palestinians suffer due to their leadership’s prioritization of weaponry over education and development, while Israel faces constant threats to its existence and is forced to adopt a more conservative approach, including rejecting the two-state solution.

Ultimately, what’s needed is rational governance and a commitment to dialogue and compromise from all sides. Only then can we hope to pave the way for lasting peace in the Middle East, where the safety and well-being of all its inhabitants are prioritized above all else.

Bison and Bullets: A Tale of Conservation at Camp Pendleton

In the tapestry of my passions, woven with threads of American history, fascination for large North American mammals, and a penchant for irony, a unique story unfolded during my visit to Camp Pendleton. It was there that I discovered the intriguing tale of the bison project, a narrative that spans decades and involves the resilience of a species nearly brought to extinction.

For decades, I have harbored a profound respect for bison. From childhood encounters at the Bronx Zoo to thrilling wildlife sightings in Yellowstone National Park, I have always been captivated by their strength and resilience. However, their journey in America has been fraught with hardship. Once roaming the Great Plains in millions, their numbers dwindled to near extinction by the late 19th century due to excessive hunting and habitat loss.

Fortunately, the 20th century witnessed a concerted effort towards bison conservation, leading to their gradual resurgence. Yet, California was not typically considered part of their natural range. This is where the story of Camp Pendleton’s bison takes an unexpected turn.

In the 1970’s the San Diego Zoo partnered with Camp Pendleton to establish a breeding program with the introduction of Adam and Eve, a pair of bison. Despite the seemingly incongruous setting of a military base, this program proved immensely successful. Over the years, the herd has flourished, with over 150 bison now roaming the hills and mesas of Camp Pendleton.

Their primary habitat lies near the artillery range, offering a stark contrast to the sounds of military exercises. As a Marine soldier and fellow golfer shared, “We often have to stop shooting practice while the bison graze through the area. They have no natural predators here, except for the occasional golf ball or shell fragment.”

This observation resonated deeply. Witnessing these majestic creatures thrive under the protection of the very institutions that once played a role in their historical decline served as a powerful reminder of our evolving relationship with nature. The story of the Camp Pendleton bison serves as a beacon for hope, reminding us that even in the midst of human activity, nature can find a way to adapt and thrive.

Use It or Lose It: Keeping Your Youthful Gait

Ah, behold the epic saga of my grandson’s adventure into bipedal glory! With all the charm of a circus performer in training, he struts his stuff at a mere 1 ½  years old. From daring steps to mind-boggling acrobatics, he’s the superstar of our grandparent galaxy. We bask in the glory of his feats, as if his milestones were gold medals, and we’re the proud fan club on the sidelines, waving oversized foam fingers.

But wait, as the years stack up like pancakes, so do the struggles at the other end of life’s conveyor belt. Enter the geriatric experience – where once-easy skills now play hide and seek with our memories. Picture me, preparing to enlighten some young medical students about the art of “falls in the elderly.” Little did I know, my own walking escapades would become the star of the show.

“Decreased proprioception,” I declaimed, feeling quite the wise sage. “Ankles that flex like uncooperative door hinges and a big toe clearance that screams ‘trip me if you dare’.” But that wasn’t the end of my aging acrobatics; oh no, there’s more. Numbness, tingling, and muscles that have taken a sabbatical joined the party, making sure my gait resembled a comedy skit more than a dignified strut.

Still, I fancied myself quite the septuagenarian athlete. Treadmill trekking, skiing (albeit a bit more ‘controlled falling’ these days), hiking, and golfing – I had a fitness arsenal that could make even a personal trainer raise an eyebrow. Then came the showdown in the Utah golfing arena. Another septuagenarian, a golfing legend in his own right, launched a golf ball into the stratosphere while mine stuttered like a reluctant rocket. My ball decided to take a scenic route through rocks and pine trees, like it was on a woodland adventure.

“Lost ball,” I mumbled in defeat, dropping another on the fairway. But behold, my fellow septuagenarian turned out to be a real-life action hero. With the agility of a mountain goat and the fearlessness of a squirrel on caffeine, he bounded up the hill, leaping over boulders and obstacles with the grace of a ballet dancer. “How do you stay so spry?” I gasped, amazed. His answer? A casual, “Oh, just thirty years on the search and rescue team in Salt Lake City.” In other words, decades of extreme skiing, hiking to the moon (or at least 10,000 feet), and kayaking through rapids that could give a roller coaster a run for its money.

Ah, let’s talk about the great divide in our mastery levels – I, the illustrious explorer of New York City sidewalks and conqueror of Florida bar stool acrobatics, and he, the daring daredevil of Wasatch Mountain’s icy slopes and altitude-extraordinaire. It’s like comparing a slightly mischievous squirrel to a high-altitude superhero with extra red blood cells for added oomph. Yes, I was grounded at sea level, while he practically lived in the clouds.

So, the big question arose – could practicing the fine art of pedestrianism in quirky situations bring back the glory days? Armed with my trusty hiking poles, I embarked on an epic quest: the Stewart Cascade Trail in Sundance, Utah. A mere 3 ½ miles, you say? A paltry 617-foot elevation gain? Well, let me regale you with tales of fallen Norway Spruce that wanted to trip me, streams that seemed to play tag with my feet, and mud that had a vendetta. Each step was a calculated gamble – like a dance with destiny. Will the limestone rock be a solid partner, can my hip flexors outsmart this tree branch’s sneak attack, should I leap like a gazelle or wade like a water buffalo through that stream?

Three hours later, I emerged – battered, not broken, weary as a sloth on a Monday morning, and feeling like a 21st-century version of Kit Carson (minus the wild frontier, plus the determination to conquer nature’s hurdles). And guess what? A few more trails later, I discovered that maneuvering stairs, sauntering on sidewalks, and even the most mundane urban escapades were suddenly a breeze. I had transformed from pavement pauper to sidewalk swashbuckler!

So here’s the grand revelation: practice, my friends, is the enchanted elixir of youth. Venture to the mountains, ponder each step like it’s a piece of a grand puzzle, and who knows? Someday you might just be the sprightly counterpart to your gravity-defying grandson. Until then, let the sidewalks tremble at the approach of your rejuvenated footsteps!

AI (Artificial Intelligence) meets 21st Century Dog Blog

I took my canine blog piece this week to ChatGPT and asked to convert it into Shakespearean sonnet and then write it in the New Yorker magazine style. All of four seconds passed when I received this output. It did not “red line” my original nor summon me to the English office after school hours. After a few minutes of sadness about the state of human creativity, I realized that we are doomed to the only job in the future: pushing a button like George Jetson working for Spacely Space Sprockets. Comments welcome.

Oh, how quaint and retro I may seem,

A lover of dogs from a bygone dream.

Gravy train and kibble, an old soup bone,

A shag rug for my faux dog throne.

Lassie, dear Lassie, my model of canine grace,

Saving grandpa from that mine shaft, what a race!

Rin Tin and Airbud, oh how they shone,

Snoopy, that smug dog, his charm never gone.

But now, in the 21st century, a grandpuppy has come,

A blend of beagle, pug, and a touch of Old Yeller’s gumption.

Watching stress-reducing videos on YouTube,

Meeting rodents in the forest, the views reaching 13 million, oh how true!

His bones, oh what a vast array,

No longer just bovine, they come in every flavor and day.

Rawhide, nylon, rubber, antler, oh what a delight,

Calcium phosphate, magnesium, salt-poor, salt-rich, what a sight!

Improved mouth health, jaw strength, tartar removal, all for the taking,

Supplemental vitamins and minerals, turning a dog into a Kennel Club sensation.

A Frisbee, an old treasure, the grandpup found,

But a new one from Amazon, a Kong, we quickly found.

Durability and universal love of dogs, oh what a claim,

Over the desiccated Portuguese Man o Wars, our pup was not the least bit tame.

Doggie health insurance, oh how grand,

Medicare coverage at 65/7, that’s a plan!

But what of fame and fortune, oh what can a pup do,

Hollywood is not the only path, I never knew.

Dog entrepreneurs, with their grooming and accessories galore,

Supporting animal shelters and having patents and trademarks to adore.

Manny The Frenchie, with a non-profit and a net worth of a million,

Walter Geoffrey, with his clothing line and sass, and a rap album in the making, how thrilling!

Loki The Wolfdog, co-founder of a travel app and a movie deal with Netflix,

Tuna, the Instagram celebrity, with an overbite that always smiles, and a book deal with Penguin Random House to fix.

Opportunities are endless, for the new century pup,

With improved nutrition, emotional adjustment, and love, they can really strut.

If only our grandpup would watch that instructional video on Frisbee catching,

The next Super Bowl halftime show, he’ll be ready, dispatching.

The New Yorker Style

As a proud retro dog lover, I was content with the basics: gravy train, kibble, an old soup bone, and a shag rug for a faux dog bed. My 20th century pup had it made. Lassie was the epitome of canine responsibility (Timmy: “Lassie, grandpa fell into the abandoned mine shaft again, go get help) and Rin Tin Tin and Airbud oozed star power. And let’s not forget Snoopy, with his smug confidence radiating from the daily comics.

But my recent encounter with a 21st-century pup shattered my nostalgic bubble. Baby-sitting my grandpuppy, a 9-month-old Orlando Rescue pup, I watched in amazement as he relaxed while watching a stress-reducing YouTube video of a Labrador retriever strolling through a verdant forest meeting a variety of rodents. This channel had 13 million views, although it wasn’t clear if they were the human or canine type.

And then there was the bone aisle at Petco – a cornucopia of choices that made choosing a variant of Pinot Noirs from multiple continental terroirs seem easy. Rawhide, nylon, rubber, antler versus bovine, calcium phosphate, magnesium, salt poor and rich and anti-oxidants. Bacon and cheese flavors could be added for those picky “chewers.” The packaging touted improved mouth health, jaw strengthening, tartar removal, improved oral microbiome, fresh breath, and supplemental vitamins and minerals that could turn your dog into an American Kennel Club icon.

Our grandpup discovered an old Frisbee in the closet which he immediately bonded with. But thanks to the mass of dog owners and capitalist ingenuity, I found Kong – a natural rubberized Frisbee that had nearly 27 thousand 4 1/2/5 star reviews touting its durability and universal love of dogs for this flying disc. I ordered it on Amazon and it arrived seemingly a few hours later. Our pup was bouncing after it on the sand and over the desiccated, beached Portuguese Man o’ Wars on the South Florida shores. And with top-notch “doggie” health insurance, he had no worries about jellyfish envenomation. I couldn’t help but wonder – at what age would he be converted to Medicare coverage? 65 years? 7? The thought amused me.

But wait, there’s more. Who knew that dogs have become entrepreneurs and started their own businesses? Grooming, training, accessories, food, and treats are just a few of the products and services offered. And some dogs even have patents or trademarks for their inventions or innovations. Manny The Frenchie (@manny_the_frenchie) not only runs a non-profit organization that supports animal shelters but also has a net worth of $1 million. Walter Geoffrey (@waltergeoffreythefrenchie) sells his own line of clothing and accessories that feature his signature sass and has a rap album coming out soon. And Loki The Wolfdog (@loki) co-founded a travel app called Loki The Wolfdog that lets you explore the world with your furry friend and has a movie deal with Netflix. Dog influencers populate the internet and often have more subscribers than humans. Tuna (@tunameltsmyheart), an Instagram celebrity, has a distinctive overbite that makes him look like he’s always smiling and also has a book deal with Penguin Random House.

So the opportunities are endless for the modern-day pooch. With improved nutrition, better emotional adjustment, and plenty of love, our grandpup can be the best dog he can be. If only I can get him to watch the YouTube instructional video on Frisbee.

Learning From the Dead: Life Lessons of the Cemetery

A field trip to the Green-wood Cemetery, nestled between bodegas and diners in Brooklyn  NY,  seemed timely as my own expiration date looms closer as the aging process inexplicably marches on despite my total commitment to sunscreen and healthy eating. Just days from Halloween, the compulsion to explore an iconic burial ground beckoned and detoured me from my previously decided upon destination having been the Brooklyn Museum and Botanical Gardens. My wife and partner appeared dubious.   We boarded the Q train for Brooklyn at 72nd street. We disembarked at the Green-Wood Cemetery transit station. Our journey started somewhat inauspiciously upon emerging from the SW exit. I saw signs for the  transfer train lines: The D, The N and The R (DNR).  Was this a deliberate attempt at  macabre humor by the NY Transit Authority?  My wife, a fellow physician, recognized the DNR or DO NOT RESUSCITATE acronym in full display as we entered the cemetery from the 36th St. entrance and she chuckled to herself.  

Green-Wood unrolled in front of us as we entered the gates and passed the guardhouse on our left. Bucolic best describes the 478 acre land that was dotted with multiple bodies of water, fountains, trees, rolling lawns, massive gravestones and individual family mausoleums constructed with stone, glass and marble.  Breathtaking!  I briefly stopped at an information kiosk and learned that this South Brooklyn cemetery had been established in 1838 as a burial site for the burgeoning city in which it lies.. As an amateur student of history,  I was drawn to the celebrity names of the past promised in the self-guiding map provided.  For these departed individuals,  the splendor of the mausoleums and monuments of their burial sites broadcast their influence and importance in their past lives. 

 DeWitt Clinton, 6th governor of New York and father of the Erie Canal, is buried on a green covered hill with a life-sized statue of himself standing on an oversized marble sarcophagus. He gazes over all of Brooklyn with his left hand raised as if shielding himself  from the sun to better his view.  Commanding!  

 Boss William Tweed, head of the 19th century corrupt political machine known as Tammany Hall, was prominently interred on Battle Hill, a revered site at Green-wood cemetery because it was the site of George Washington’s battle with the British at the inception of the Revolutionary War.  A world class rogue and huckster, Tweed siphoned millions of dollars from construction of the Brooklyn Bridge, Central Park and the Courthouse in Downtown New York. 

Among the century old London Plane trees and Dogwoods lies Samuel Morse beneath a Greco-Roman inspired monument. The inventor of the telegraph, classical painter and Morse Code originator had a near perfect record until he advocated for slavery during the Civil War. 

While the glamor of the granite palaces marking the famous and infamous in death never failed to impress, I realized that the essence of humanity was to be found in the more modest gravesites. Thousands of small granite tombstones marked those who had served in the Civil War and the World Wars.  Rows and rows of tombstones lined the grassy knolls as if the stones were marching in a regimented formation. 

Fighting on opposite sides of the Civil War,  William and Clifton Prentiss were reunited after sustaining mortal wounds in the same battle and interred together in perpetuity at Green-Wood.

Louis Abel, an electrical engineer serving in the 112th Infantry was stationed behind enemy lines in France during World War I. He writes his brother a letter 13 days before his death:

My dear Brother Eugene:


As the war goes on and as I come out of each engagement still alive, I think often of those at home and wonder if I will ever see them again. You are all in my thoughts continually when I have time to think of other things besides the continual shellfire and fighting. My nerves have been sorely tried and many officers and men have lost out completely due to nervous strain making them useless. I sincerely hope all is well with you and yours. Love to all and may God who watches over us all bring us together again.

Lovingly your brother, Louis

Charlotte,  a 17 year old girl on the verge of becoming a married woman, was accidentally killed in a carriage accident in 1844.  She is interred next to her fiance who took his life in complete and utter grief over her unexpected death.   Do-Hum-Me, an 18 year old Sac and Fox Nation Indian woman,  was brought to the East in 1843 from her native lands in Iowa by her father to negotiate treaties with the federal government. She was hired by P.T. Barnum to perform Indian war dances in his New York theater. Without resistance to Western disease, Do-Hum-Me fell ill and died of an infectious disease. P.T. Barnum was so distraught he paid for her burial and tombstone.  Two women,  ill-fated for early deaths and thus virtually unknown during their lives, have become well-known and are frequently visited gravesites at Green-wood.  

The sky darkens and a late October rain begins to fall.  My wife and I open our umbrellas and prepare to depart the cemetery.  We are headed back to the subway to return to Manhattan. We cannot help but to reflect on the beauty of the cemetery and the lessons it has taught us: it is the quiet lives of so many who are unsung in the world that reach out to us in the most unexpected places that remind us the importance and beauty of every life. 

Tree Surgeon

The second hand swept past twelve midnight on the operating room clock as the retractor dug into the palm of my hand and my biceps lactate level soared. “Hmm, you’re choosing Internal medicine?”, intoned Dr. G, as he directed the surgical resident to place catgut sutures into a human gut that was defiled by a stab wound in the heat of a gang altercation in East Los Angeles in 1977.  I pulled on the retractor as Dr. G. sermoned his soliloquy on the superiority of surgical practice. “Who is going to save the patient with appendicitis or peritonitis from certain death? The surgeon!”, he emphatically answered. 

Morning arrived quickly and surgical rounds began as a retinue of visiting professors, fellows, residents, interns, social workers, case workers, physical and occupational therapists and finally third year medical students filed in behind Dr. G. In my sleep deprived mind, I saw his surgical cap as a tri-cornered hat, his pocketed stethoscope as a sword and his entry through the door of the large L.A. County Hospital ward as passing under a faux Arc de Triomphe after his conquests at Austerlitz. Moments later, he transmogrified into a fusion Perry Mason and Clarence Darrow, as he interrogated a profusely sweating surgical resident who had the misfortune of a post cholecystectomy wound infection.

Many decades later, playing “where are they now?,” I did the perspicacious detective work of finding out what accolades Dr. G. had received in the 21st century.  In other words, I had googled his name. Up came the answer: He had retired to a South Pacific Island to manage a greenhouse and take care of plants and trees on the island. He had become a plant and tree doctor! The head of Los Angeles County Trauma Response who had mended miles of injured intestines, cauterized thousands of bleeding blood vessels, and drained an ocean of abscesses had become a tree and plant caretaker. I was gobsmacked to say the least.

 Trees were meant to be cut down to make way for McDonalds’ parking lots, inspire insipid poems that 4th graders needed to memorize, and knock down errant golf balls.  (Dwight Eisenhower, the Supreme Commander of D- Day and former  U. S. President, urged Augusta National Golf Club to cut down a tree on the 17th hole that consistently stymied his tee shot).

As the years peeled away and I grew more gray, I learned respect for green. Peripatetic journeys with my botany-wise spouse and selected artificial intelligence plant apps opened up the world of beauty and ecological necessities of our flora. The mountain ash leaves feeding an army of tadpoles, our Red Osier Dogwood stabilizing our topsoil and preventing erosion, sunflowers blooming in summer and providing sustenance for bees, the Oregon Crabapple providing shelter and food for the Bluebird and Cardinal, and the joyful human stroll under the elevated tunnel of American Elms lining the Literary Walk at Central Park, are fine examples of the edification and beauty I had discovered in my new-found hobby of tree identification and exploration. 

Dr. G had seen decades of turmoil and tragedy mending the human body in East LA. He found tranquility and peace tending the South Pacific flora thousands of miles from the mainland. His time spent caring for trees, I would like to think, was like a healing tonic for a soul undoubtedly troubled and fractured from the many toils and challenges of practicing medicine and surgery for decades.  In a sense, he was finding his humanity and giving back to the planet what we have taken for granted for so long: the life-giving beauty of the Kingdom Plantae.  I have to admit, I completely understood.