Retired White Coat

July 4, 2023

Ode to the Hot Dog

Oh, savory delight, the humble hot dog,

A taste that transcends time, an American emblem.

In Times Square’s bustling scene, I savored you,

Nathan’s masterpiece, as I toiled on Broadway’s stage.

As a part-time employee in that bustling space,

Where documents flew and deadlines gave chase,

Amidst the chorus of keys and whirring machines,

I found solace in your presence, your flavors serene.

But it was on July 4th, in Dobbs Ferry, I recall,

My first encounter with you, a revelation, overall.

At my uncle’s house, laughter filled the air,

As I sank my teeth into a grilled Hebrew National, rare.

I listened to Mel Allen’s voice on a transistor radio,

His iconic commentary filled the air with a vibrant glow.

As the hot dog sizzled on the grill, a symphony of flavors,

His voice painted the scene, enhancing the savors.

Amidst family and friends, laughter filled the space,

The transistor radio playing, a joyful embrace.

Dobbs Ferry’s charm, the hot dog’s savory bliss,

A symphony of summer, a moment not to miss.

In the sweet voice of Mel Allen, the stadium would sway,

As he announced a Mantle home run, “going, going, gone,” he’d say.

Toasted buns, untoasted buns, a debate so grand,

A choice that divides, across this great land.

Yet, as I bit into your warmth, the bun held you close,

A perfect union, each flavor enhancing the other’s dose.

Oh, hot dog, your history we must embrace,

From street carts to ballparks, a cherished place.

A symbol of immigrants’ dreams and endeavors,

Your origins intertwined with American treasures.

From German immigrants’ humble sausages, they say,

You were born in the streets of New York, they portray.

From Coney Island’s Nathan’s to Times Square’s allure,

You’ve become a culinary icon, timeless and pure.

So, let us raise a bun, a condiment-laden cheer,

To the hot dog, beloved, let its legacy be clear.

In each bite we take, a taste of history is found,

A culinary masterpiece, forever renowned.

June 30, 2023

Hiking the Dawn to Armstrong Trail: Where Nature Meets Tech in Perfect Harmony

My hiking boots and poles touched down on the Dawn to Armstrong Trail in Park City, Utah, my absolute favorite hiking destination! Picture a trail where snows and rains have conspired to create a floral paradise, painting the landscape with an explosion of colors. And guess what? This trail has a little something extra to offer besides Mother Nature’s charms – modern technology! So, lace up your boots, charge your devices, and join me on this tech-infused adventure through the wonders of the Dawn to Armstrong Trail.

Blooming Wildflowers: As I set foot on the trail, my eyes widened with delight. The recent snows and rains had cast a spell, and the wildflowers responded by bursting into bloom with such enthusiasm that even the most seasoned botanists would be envious. Golden Columbine, Woods’ rose, Common Pacific Pea, Sticky Geranium, Wasatch Penstemon, and Pacific Ninebark paraded their colors, turning the trail into a living tapestry. Thankfully, I had my trusty sidekick, the Picture This app, to help me identify each flower. With a snap and a click, I became a botanist extraordinaire. Move over, Fremont and Ogden!

Symphony of Bird Calls: As I ventured deeper into the trail, a delightful cacophony of bird songs enveloped me. The Yellow Warbler, Chipping Sparrow, Western Tanager, and Black-Headed Grosbeak took center stage, performing their avian concert with gusto. How did I know who was who? Well, I whipped out my virtual maestro, the Merlin Bird ID app, which analyzed their melodious tunes and provided me with front-row seats to the avian symphony. I couldn’t help but imagine President Theodore Roosevelt himself tapping his foot to the beat, although I doubt he had access to such technology back then.

Tech Guides the Way: Amidst the lush scenery and melodious serenade, I realized that staying on track was crucial. Enter AllTrails, my digital hiking guru. With its comprehensive maps, trail descriptions, and weather updates, it kept me from getting lost and even warned me about the occasional lightning risks. AllTrails had my back, ensuring I wouldn’t end up as a character in a survival reality show. So, armed with my smartphone and a good sense of humor, I embraced the harmony of nature and tech.

Conclusion: The Dawn to Armstrong Trail is a testament to the beauty of nature, but it’s also a shining example of how technology can enhance our experiences. As I strolled along, Picture This transformed me into a wildflower expert, Merlin Bird ID made me a bird whisperer, and AllTrails guided me with the wisdom of a seasoned explorer. Who knew that 19th-century explorers and President Roosevelt could be upstaged by the likes of an app?

So, dear hiker, don’t hesitate to embrace the wonders of technology while immersing yourself in the wonders of the Dawn to Armstrong Trail. Let modern-day explorers like you use apps to become botanists, ornithologists, and expert navigators. Laugh, learn, and indulge in the perfect harmony between nature and tech as you create your own unforgettable adventure on this enchanting trail. Happy hiking!

June 13, 2023

Get Healthy: Adopt a Dog

It’s time to wash those hands, dodge doggy face licks, and keep the mud out of your home!” These timeless words of 1960’s wisdom from my mother still echo in my mind, though they’ve been contested thanks to the latest scientific findings presented at Digestive Disease Week.

Prepare yourself for a mind-boggling journey into the world of science, where living with a fluffy animal is the secret to warding off inflammatory bowel disease, autoimmune issues, allergies, and even mental health problems. Get ready for a glimpse into what a health care encounter in the 21st century might just look like. Trust me, it’s going to be a wild ride!

Scene 1: Dr. Barkster’s Office

Dr. Barkster (raising an eyebrow): “Mrs. Paw-some, forget about your traditional prescriptions, because I have a prescription that will blow your mind! Say hello to the furriest remedy out there – a dog!”

Mrs. Paw-some (taken aback): “A dog? But Doctor, won’t our house turn into a hairy chaos zone?”

Dr. Barkster (grinning): “Oh, Mrs. Paw-some, let me tell you, the wonders of fur-therapy are worth every lint roller in existence! Brace yourself for the fur-filled adventure I’m about to unfold.”

Scene 2: The Immune System Superhero

Dr. Barkster (striking a superhero pose): “Imagine a furry dog as your child’s immune system superhero, ready to tackle autoimmune diseases like a true champion! Recent studies show that early exposure to furry dogs can boost the immune system’s resilience, reducing the risk of developing autoimmune issues.”

Mrs. Paw-some (excited): “So, you’re saying a furry dog can be our child’s very own shield?”

Dr. Barkster (nodding): “Exactly! By bringing a dog into your family, we’re empowering your child’s immune system, one wag at a time!”

Scene 3: The Mental Health Marvel

Dr. Barkster (putting on a detective hat): “Hold on tight, because the mental health benefits of furry dogs will blow your mind! They’re like cuddly therapists with wagging tails. They offer unconditional love, endless belly rubs, and they’re the perfect built-in antidepressants!”

Mrs. Paw-some (laughing): “So, our dog will be our very own four-legged therapist?”

Dr. Barkster (smiling): “You got it! Dogs have this incredible ability to reduce stress, anxiety, and even improve social interactions. Plus, they’ll help your child develop empathy and a sense of responsibility.”

Scene 4: Finding the Paw-fect Match

Mrs. Paw-some (curious): “But Doctor, how do we find the right furry companion for our child’s optimal health?”

Dr. Barkster (serious yet humorous): “Ah, the quest for the paw-fect match! It begins with considering your child’s personality, activity level, and your family’s lifestyle. Is your child an energetic explorer or a snuggly bookworm? Are you a family of adventure seekers or more of a cozy homebody bunch?”

Mrs. Paw-some (enthusiastically): “We’re definitely a lively bunch!”

Dr. Barkster (chuckling): “Well then, a playful and energetic breed might be just the ticket! But don’t forget, shelter dogs are often paw-some choices too, so give them a chance to wiggle their way into your hearts!”

Scene 5: The Apocryphal Algorithm for Choosing the Perfect Breed

Dr. Barkster (with a mischievous smile): “Ah, Mrs. Paw-some, I have a little secret algorithm up my sleeve that can help you choose the perfect breed based on your child’s medical needs!”

Mrs. Paw-some (intrigued): “An algorithm? How pawsitively intriguing, Doctor! Do tell!”

Dr. Barkster (clearing his throat dramatically): “Behold, the Apocryphal Algorithm for Choosing the Perfect Breed!”

Allergy Avengers: If allergies are an issue, fear not! Look for hypoallergenic breeds like Poodles, Bichon Frises, or Portuguese Water Dogs. They’ll keep the sniffles at bay while providing endless cuddles.

Anxiety Alleviators: For anxiety relief, consider breeds like Cavalier King Charles Spaniels or Golden Retrievers. Their calm and gentle nature will soothe those frazzled nerves.

ADHD Energizers: If your child has energy to spare, go for breeds like Border Collies or Australian Shepherds. These energetic bundles of fur will keep up with all the endless activities and games.

Depression Defeaters: To combat the blues, breeds like Labradors or Beagles are perfect. Their playful antics and unwavering loyalty will bring smiles and joy to even the gloomiest of days.

Dr. Barkster (waving his hands like a magician): “And voila! The Apocryphal Algorithm presents you with a list of potential breeds to consider, tailored to your child’s medical needs. But remember, this algorithm is purely apocryphal, so be sure to consult with a professional before making any decisions!”

Mrs. Paw-some (laughing): “Doctor, you truly have a flair for the theatrical! Thank you for guiding us through this fur-filled journey.”

Scene 6: The Microbiome Marvels: Dogs, Soil Bacteria, and Healthier Homes

Dr. Barkster (raising an eyebrow): “Mrs. Paw-some, brace yourself for another mind-blowing discovery! Did you know that dogs can actually change the microbiome of humans to a healthier mix?”

Mrs. Paw-some (intrigued): “Dogs and microbiomes? That’s fascinating, Doctor! How does it work?”

Dr. Barkster (excitedly): “Hold on tight! When dogs dig in the soil, they unwittingly bring soil bacteria into our homes. And here’s the kicker: when they give their human housemates a loving lick, they introduce those beneficial bacteria into our bodies!”

Scene 7: The Soil Spectrum in the Apocryphal Algorithm

Dr. Barkster (adjusting his spectacles): “Now, let’s incorporate the magnificent world of soil into our Apocryphal Algorithm! Different soil types that dogs interact with can bring diverse bacteria, offering unique health benefits.”

Rich Loamy Licks: If your dog enjoys digging in nutrient-rich, loamy soil, they might introduce beneficial bacteria associated with improved digestion and nutrient absorption. Consider breeds like Labrador Retrievers or German Shepherds, known for their earthy explorations.

Sandy Salutations: Sandy soils bring their own set of health benefits. Breeds like Dalmatians or Greyhounds, who enjoy frolicking on sandy beaches or in sandboxes, may introduce bacteria associated with skin health and reduced allergies.

Clay Kisses: If your furry friend loves digging in clay-rich soil, they might bring in bacteria associated with a stronger immune system. Breeds like Airedale Terriers or Staffordshire Bull Terriers, known for their enthusiastic digging skills, might be just the companions for a clay-inspired microbiome boost.

Peaty Pooch Pals: Dogs fond of exploring areas with peat soil can introduce bacteria associated with improved mental health and reduced inflammation. Breeds like Border Terriers or Irish Setters, who enjoy hikes in boggy areas, might be the perfect peaty pooch pals.

Dr. Barkster (with a grin): “Remember, this soil-inspired algorithm is purely fictional but showcases the fascinating connection between dogs, soil bacteria, and our health.”

Mrs. Paw-some (laughing): “Doctor, you never cease to amaze! Our furry friends truly bring the magic of nature into our homes.”

Epilogue:

Dear readers, while the soil-inspired microbiome marvels may be an intriguing concept, the love, companionship, and joy a furry dog brings into our lives are undeniable. So, embrace the pawsitivity, let your child’s health thrive, and embark on an adventure with a four-legged friend who will not only leave paw prints on your hearts but potentially beneficial soil bacteria too! And remember, if you decide to welcome a furry companion into your home, make sure to consult with a healthcare professional to find the best fit for your family and always keep those lint rollers handy!

May 3, 2023

Timing, Tempo and Rhythm

As I sit in front of the piano with its 88 keys, I feel challenged to produce a musical tune with my novice fingers. My online instructor keeps repeating: “Timing, tempo and rhythm.” How did Mozart and Stevie Wonder manage to master these skills? As I hear the NBA playoffs on TV, I realize that timing, tempo and rhythm are essential for many aspects of life, not just music.

Timing, tempo, and rhythm – three little words that can mean the difference between life and death. In the twisted game of existence, they’re the cogs that turn the wheels, propelling us forward or leaving us behind in a trail of dust.

In sports, timing can be the difference between winning and losing, between victory and defeat. But it’s not just about being in the right place at the right time. As basketball coach John Wooden once said, “Be quick, but don’t hurry.” It’s about knowing when to make your move, when to strike, and when to hold back. Elvin Hayes, who played for the Houston Rockets in the 1970s, was known for listening to Smokey Robinson’s “Second That Emotion” before games. Hayes believed that the song’s upbeat tempo helped him get into the right mindset for the game. The late, great Kobe Bryant listened to Jay-Z, Beethoven and Journey to syncopate his court skills.

Timing is a key ingredient that makes the jokes of Seinfeld, Chris Rock and George Carlin hilarious and transform a sigh into a belly laugh.

Tempo, on the other hand, is the heart of music. It’s the pulse that drives the beat, the speed at which we move through life. And just like a well-crafted melody, the tempo can evoke emotions we never knew existed. The faster the beat, the more frenzied we become. The slower the tempo, the more melancholic we feel. It’s a delicate balance, and one that can be manipulated to great effect.

But rhythm is the true master of our fate. It’s the pattern that underpins everything we do, the driving force that gives us purpose and direction. Whether it’s the rhythm of our breathing or the rhythm of our footsteps, it’s the metronome that keeps us moving forward. As writer Maya Angelou once said, “Everything in the universe has a rhythm, everything dances.”

Timing, tempo and rhythm are the foundations of our existence, the elements that shape the mysterious maze of life. Whether we’re making jokes or scoring points, playing music or dealing with our feelings, it’s these three little words that can lift us up or drag us down. So let’s harness the power of timing, the core of tempo and the master of rhythm. For by doing so, we’ll find the groove that leads us to success and keep us forever young!

April 12, 2023

Digital Monopoly and Family Bliss

Picture this: a family vacation in Park City, Utah and ten feet of snow.The ski slopes were pristine, the views were breathtaking, the ski and snowboard turns were on point and on edge. The family was having a great time. But, what brought us even closer, was something unexpected: a highly competitive digital Monopoly game.

Yes, you heard that right. Monopoly! The game where players buy and sell properties, build houses and hotels, and bankrupt each other. It’s not exactly what you would call a family bonding activity, right? But it turns out capitalism can be a social glue too.

The idea of playing Monopoly came as we sat in the living room and watched the Rocky Mountain snow pile up against the silhouette of the ski lift. Siri suggested that we look into the digital version, and four clicks later, we had the Monopoly board streaming on the big screen. At first, I was skeptical. I mean, I had played Monopoly before, and I knew how intense it could get. But the group was game, and soon enough, we were all huddled around the monitor reading how to electronically roll the dice.

The game started off pretty innocently. We all picked our favorite game pieces (I went with the top hat, of course) and started buying properties. I delegated management to my younger son, a real-life mergers and acquisitions attorney, who parlayed our portfolio into a few monopolies. Adrianne, my older son’s girlfriend, snagged all the railroads and piled up big time currency as we repeatedly landed on her railroad holdings.

But things really started to heat up when my older son and his girlfriend, Adrianne, started negotiating over St. James Place. He was willing to buy it from her for $200, but she wanted to sweeten the deal. She suggested he throw in a pedicure at a spa in Miami and only then she might consider the sale of St. James Place. Introducing a real-life aspect to the game left us all in hysterics.

As the game progressed, we all became more and more invested. We started making alliances and deals in an effort to outsmart each other. The bankruptcies started to pile up and the monocled, rich Uncle Pennybags began ruthlessly deleting the accounts of the moneyless, propertyless contestants.

As the evening turned into a late night event only two players were still solvent: Adrianne declared victory based on a Fort Knox wad of cash and hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place and her real-life pedicure appointment already secured. My younger son and I were not ready to concede and we await the final report from our forensic accountant.

We all had a great time playing the game. It brought us closer together and we laughed and joked the whole time. It was a reminder that sometimes, it’s the unexpected and simple activities from days gone by that bring us together.

So, next time you’re on vacation with your family, consider breaking out the virtual Monopoly board. An old-fashioned game night might just bring you closer together. And who knows, you might even get a pedicure out of it. It worked for Adrianne.

March 4, 2023

AI (Artificial Intelligence) meets 21st Century Dog Blog

I took my canine blog piece this week to ChatGPT and asked to convert it into Shakespearean sonnet and then write it in the New Yorker magazine style. All of four seconds passed when I received this output. It did not “red line” my original nor summon me to the English office after school hours. After a few minutes of sadness about the state of human creativity, I realized that we are doomed to the only job in the future: pushing a button like George Jetson working for Spacely Space Sprockets. Comments welcome.

Oh, how quaint and retro I may seem,

A lover of dogs from a bygone dream.

Gravy train and kibble, an old soup bone,

A shag rug for my faux dog throne.

Lassie, dear Lassie, my model of canine grace,

Saving grandpa from that mine shaft, what a race!

Rin Tin and Airbud, oh how they shone,

Snoopy, that smug dog, his charm never gone.

But now, in the 21st century, a grandpuppy has come,

A blend of beagle, pug, and a touch of Old Yeller’s gumption.

Watching stress-reducing videos on YouTube,

Meeting rodents in the forest, the views reaching 13 million, oh how true!

His bones, oh what a vast array,

No longer just bovine, they come in every flavor and day.

Rawhide, nylon, rubber, antler, oh what a delight,

Calcium phosphate, magnesium, salt-poor, salt-rich, what a sight!

Improved mouth health, jaw strength, tartar removal, all for the taking,

Supplemental vitamins and minerals, turning a dog into a Kennel Club sensation.

A Frisbee, an old treasure, the grandpup found,

But a new one from Amazon, a Kong, we quickly found.

Durability and universal love of dogs, oh what a claim,

Over the desiccated Portuguese Man o Wars, our pup was not the least bit tame.

Doggie health insurance, oh how grand,

Medicare coverage at 65/7, that’s a plan!

But what of fame and fortune, oh what can a pup do,

Hollywood is not the only path, I never knew.

Dog entrepreneurs, with their grooming and accessories galore,

Supporting animal shelters and having patents and trademarks to adore.

Manny The Frenchie, with a non-profit and a net worth of a million,

Walter Geoffrey, with his clothing line and sass, and a rap album in the making, how thrilling!

Loki The Wolfdog, co-founder of a travel app and a movie deal with Netflix,

Tuna, the Instagram celebrity, with an overbite that always smiles, and a book deal with Penguin Random House to fix.

Opportunities are endless, for the new century pup,

With improved nutrition, emotional adjustment, and love, they can really strut.

If only our grandpup would watch that instructional video on Frisbee catching,

The next Super Bowl halftime show, he’ll be ready, dispatching.

The New Yorker Style

As a proud retro dog lover, I was content with the basics: gravy train, kibble, an old soup bone, and a shag rug for a faux dog bed. My 20th century pup had it made. Lassie was the epitome of canine responsibility (Timmy: “Lassie, grandpa fell into the abandoned mine shaft again, go get help) and Rin Tin Tin and Airbud oozed star power. And let’s not forget Snoopy, with his smug confidence radiating from the daily comics.

But my recent encounter with a 21st-century pup shattered my nostalgic bubble. Baby-sitting my grandpuppy, a 9-month-old Orlando Rescue pup, I watched in amazement as he relaxed while watching a stress-reducing YouTube video of a Labrador retriever strolling through a verdant forest meeting a variety of rodents. This channel had 13 million views, although it wasn’t clear if they were the human or canine type.

And then there was the bone aisle at Petco – a cornucopia of choices that made choosing a variant of Pinot Noirs from multiple continental terroirs seem easy. Rawhide, nylon, rubber, antler versus bovine, calcium phosphate, magnesium, salt poor and rich and anti-oxidants. Bacon and cheese flavors could be added for those picky “chewers.” The packaging touted improved mouth health, jaw strengthening, tartar removal, improved oral microbiome, fresh breath, and supplemental vitamins and minerals that could turn your dog into an American Kennel Club icon.

Our grandpup discovered an old Frisbee in the closet which he immediately bonded with. But thanks to the mass of dog owners and capitalist ingenuity, I found Kong – a natural rubberized Frisbee that had nearly 27 thousand 4 1/2/5 star reviews touting its durability and universal love of dogs for this flying disc. I ordered it on Amazon and it arrived seemingly a few hours later. Our pup was bouncing after it on the sand and over the desiccated, beached Portuguese Man o’ Wars on the South Florida shores. And with top-notch “doggie” health insurance, he had no worries about jellyfish envenomation. I couldn’t help but wonder – at what age would he be converted to Medicare coverage? 65 years? 7? The thought amused me.

But wait, there’s more. Who knew that dogs have become entrepreneurs and started their own businesses? Grooming, training, accessories, food, and treats are just a few of the products and services offered. And some dogs even have patents or trademarks for their inventions or innovations. Manny The Frenchie (@manny_the_frenchie) not only runs a non-profit organization that supports animal shelters but also has a net worth of $1 million. Walter Geoffrey (@waltergeoffreythefrenchie) sells his own line of clothing and accessories that feature his signature sass and has a rap album coming out soon. And Loki The Wolfdog (@loki) co-founded a travel app called Loki The Wolfdog that lets you explore the world with your furry friend and has a movie deal with Netflix. Dog influencers populate the internet and often have more subscribers than humans. Tuna (@tunameltsmyheart), an Instagram celebrity, has a distinctive overbite that makes him look like he’s always smiling and also has a book deal with Penguin Random House.

So the opportunities are endless for the modern-day pooch. With improved nutrition, better emotional adjustment, and plenty of love, our grandpup can be the best dog he can be. If only I can get him to watch the YouTube instructional video on Frisbee.

February 28, 2023

21st Century Dog

I’m an old school, retro dog lover. Gravy train and kibble, old soup bone, shag rug for a faux dog bed, a rubber ball for chew time and fetching and a 20th century dog had it made. Lassie defined my idea of canine responsibility (Timmy: “Lassie, grandpa fell into the abandoned mine shaft again, go get help)! TV and movies displayed the star power of Rin Tin Tin and Airbud and the smug confidence of Snoopy radiated from the daily comics.

My 21st century introduction to the modern dog occurred recently as I baby-sat my grand puppy, a 9 month Orlando Rescue pup. Part beagle, part pug and a soupçon of Old Yeller, he arrived with a prance in his step and some apprehension in his new surroundings. The latter promptly ebbed as he sat watching a stress reducing YouTube video of a Labrador retriever ambling through a verdant forest meeting a various assortment of rodents. This channel had 13 million views, although it was not clear if they were the human or canine type.

He turned his attention to his stash of bones. I had naively assumed a bovine bone was his only arsenal but the mass of dog owners and capitalist ingenuity had transformed this market into a cornucopia of choices. Looking for a bone down the Petco aisle was like looking for a variant of Pinot Noirs from multiple continental terroirs. The choices were endless: Rawhide, nylon, rubber, antler versus bovine, calcium phosphate, magnesium, salt poor and rich and anti-oxidants. Bacon and cheese flavors could be added for those picky “chewers.” The packaging touted improved mouth health, jaw strengthening, tartar removal, improved oral microbiome, fresh breath, and supplemental vitamins and minerals that could turn your dog into an American Kennel Club icon.

Our grand pup discovered an old Frisbee in the closet which he immediately bonded. The plastic was going to be no match for his gnawing. I searched Amazon for a suitable dog Frisbee and found Kong, a natural rubberized Frisbee that had nearly 27 thousand 4 1/2 out of 5 star reviews touting its durability and universal love of dogs for this flying disc. Seemingly a few hours passed when the Amazon delivery truck delivered the new dog disc. It was a hit with our pup: he was bounding after it on the sand and over the desiccated, beached Portuguese Man o’ Wars on the South Florida shores. He had no worries about jellyfish-like envenomation, as our son had secured top notch “doggie” health insurance (at what age would he be converted to Medicare coverage? 65yrs/7, I mused).

Was Hollywood discovery his only path to canine fame and fortune? Again my naïveté of 21st century dog occupations was exposed. Entrepreneurial dogs have started their own businesses or helped their owners launch successful ventures. They offered products or services that catered to other dogs or dog lovers, such as grooming, training, accessories, food and treats. Some of them had patents or trademarks for their inventions or innovations. Examples of dog entrepreneurs include Manny The Frenchie (@manny_the_frenchie), who runs a non-profit organization that supports animal shelters and also has a net worth of $1 million; Walter Geoffrey (@waltergeoffreythefrenchie), who sells his own line of clothing and accessories that feature his signature sass and also has a rap album coming out soon; and Loki The Wolfdog (@loki), who co-founded a travel app called Loki The Wolfdog that lets you explore the world with your furry friend and also has a movie deal with Netflix. Dog influencers populate the Internet and often have more subscribers than humans. Tuna (@tunameltsmyheart), an Instagram celebrity, has a distinctive overbite that makes him look like he’s always smiling and also has a book deal with Penguin Random House.

Opportunities are indeed endless for the new century pooch. Our grand pup with improved nutrition, better emotional adjustment and love, can be the best dog he can be. If I can only get him to watch the YouTube instructional video on Frisbee catching, I know he’ll be ready to perform in next year’s Super Bowl halftime.

December 30, 2022

Holidays, Families and Lionel Trains

As the holiday season approaches, my thoughts turn to memories of childhood adventures with Lionel trains. As a young boy growing up in proximity to Penn and Grand Central Stations I was fascinated by trains and the intricate and detailed world of these miniature marvels slaked my interest. My uncle, an avid collector and enthusiast who worked for the New York Subway system, had inherited a treasure trove of Lionel memorabilia. One of my favorite memories was a vintage Lionel locomotive from 1940, a rare and valuable piece that he had always coveted. The locomotive was intricately detailed and had the ability to blow smoke when using special pellets in the smokestack, adding an extra layer of realism to our adventures.

As a faux conductor and engineer, the enterprise did not alway run smoothly. As my brother was fixing a track, I couldn’t resist the temptation to engage the transformer and send the trains chugging around the tracks. However, in my excitement, I didn’t realize that my brother’s hand was still on the tracks and he was shocked by the sudden jolt of electricity. “Ow! What the hell are you doing?” he yelled, as he jumped back in pain. My penance was removal from any electrical equipment and I was delegated to the mundane task of snapping together the plastic diner and signs that lined the train route.

A nod to NASA was a rocket launching car, a special edition released in the wake of the Soviet Union’s successful launch of Sputnik. As a child, I was worried about falling behind the Soviets in the race to space, and this little train offered a glimpse into a future filled with endless possibilities

I remember grinning at a later addition to our Lionel train set – a cattle car filled with plastic cows vibrating on platform, mimicking the movement of live cattle being transported across the country. “This is going to be the best train adventure yet!” I had mused, as I placed the cows carefully in the car.

As we sounded the train whistle and the locomotive chugged around the tracks, our terrier mix dog, Domino, started barking at the cattle car and shivering with excitement. Whether it was setting up intricate tracks and scenarios, or simply watching the trains chug along, there was something timeless and special about the world of Lionel trains. And as we spent the afternoon lost in the world of these tiny locomotives, I couldn’t help but feel grateful for the memories and adventures that these beloved trains had given us.

It was moments like these that brought our whole family together, united by a shared love for these miniature marvels.

November 15, 2022

How Sweet It Is: The Rise, Fall and Resurgence of the Bakery

The events are fresh in my mind though the incident had occurred 6 decades earlier. My 6th birthday party was, by all metrics, a rousing social success. A spirited game of ‘pin the tail on the donkey’, engaging conversation about the latest “Romper Room” TV episodes and gourmet entrees of Nathan’s hot dogs gave way to a highly anticipated dessert. A platter of Hostess Twinkies were brought out and distributed by my mom to the sugar craving denizens of North Queens, N.Y. A shadowy arm crossed my plate and and as fast as you could say “Captain Kangaroo,” my Twinkie was snatched by the pig-tailed girl who hastily ran through the door with her purloined goods and back to her lair one block away. New York City penal codes, my mom explained to my inconsolable self, did not apply to minors stealing baked goods. From that moment on, I never took pastries for granted. Was there something out there that could replace that lost Twinkie?

New York City was the crucible for inspired bakeries. The 19th Germans were more interested in wars (Austro-Prussian War , Franco-Prussian War) than dessert cuisine, encouraging German bakers to bring their flour, butter, eggs and sugar to the land of opportunity across the Atlantic. The Glasers, a Bavarian family, established a bakery in Yorkville, New York City and in 1904 invented the black and white cookie. Frosting, atop a cake dough base, it became a metaphor for racial equality (Seinfeld Black and White Cookie) as well as an iconic cookie. In Stuttgart Germany, an emigre, William Entenmann relocated to Brooklyn, N.Y. and peddled baked goods starting in 1898 to the hungry borough. His children expanded the product line and produced the near perfect N.Y. Style Crumbcake, enjoyed by proletariat and luminaries such as Frank Sinatra who had the cake delivered weekly to his abode. The same year as William Entenmann was delivering his horse carriage delivered sweetness, a German couple, Catherine and George Ebinger started their version of cakes and pastries in South Brooklyn. My paternal grandmother, Celia, always had an Ebinger’s 7 layered chocolate cake prominently displayed in the kitchen.

The excellence of the bakeries in Brooklyn and Manhattan spilled out to Queens by the 1960’s. Storks, a German Bakery in Whitestone, was replete with their own version of buttery-inspired petit fours, black and whites and crumb cakes. Adventurer’s Inn, an amusement park near LaGuardia Airport, had an in house bakery that deconstructed the black and white cookie and re-engineered v. 2.0: a double-decker sandwich with a 2nd base cookie layered with thick fudge in the middle.

As my dessert satisfaction score and body mass index (BMI) rose in tandem, I felt some trepidation relocating to Los Angeles to further my education. Was this going to be baked goods hell or a hidden cookie oasis? I promptly found Canter’s Deli in L.A. and scored a West Coast black and white. Entenmann’s fortuitously expanded their crumb cake empire to the West Coast in the ‘70s and introduced the left coast to the wonders of their cookies and cakes. Ramen noodles and crumb cake; Mac and Cheese and black and whites; chef boyardee ravioli and Entenmann chocolate chip cookies: these were the student Michelin 4 star meals that resonated.

All things must pass, proclaimed George Harrison, and so did this pastry paradise. Cholesterol consciousness, living longer and the eating healthy mafia chipped away at my treasured baked goods. Ebinger’s went bankrupt, Glaser’s of Yorkville closed after a century of business and Entemann’s was sold and resold and nearly expunged all of their crumb cake production. Bakeries were shuttered and replaced by juice bars and Acacia bowl outlets. Even the venerable Twinkie was re-engineered to include synthetic compounds that had little taste resemblance to earlier Twinkie generations. A dark age of baked goods was a foot.

With a sullen demeanor, I capped off a recent lunch with apple slices and a bran muffin and set out to walk off some calories around Manhattan. Past the healthy bowl places and the passion fruit bars I went until I came across a serpentine line stretching multiple blocks down 3rd Avenue. “A new cookie store just opened” opined a prospective customer who was at least 45 minutes from being served. Crumbl, a cookie emporium based in Utah was opening up their first store in New York City. Sullen looks turned to smiles as I contemplated the possible resurgence of the New York baked goods scene. Twinkies may come and go, I mused, but the circle of spice arcs toward sweetness.

November 4, 2022

Learning From the Dead: Life Lessons of the Cemetery

A field trip to the Green-wood Cemetery, nestled between bodegas and diners in Brooklyn NY, seemed timely as my own expiration date looms closer as the aging process inexplicably marches on despite my total commitment to sunscreen and healthy eating. Just days from Halloween, the compulsion to explore an iconic burial ground beckoned and detoured me from my previously decided upon destination having been the Brooklyn Museum and Botanical Gardens. My wife and partner appeared dubious. We boarded the Q train for Brooklyn at 72nd street. We disembarked at the Green-Wood Cemetery transit station. Our journey started somewhat inauspiciously upon emerging from the SW exit. I saw signs for the transfer train lines: The D, The N and The R (DNR). Was this a deliberate attempt at macabre humor by the NY Transit Authority? My wife, a fellow physician, recognized the DNR or DO NOT RESUSCITATE acronym in full display as we entered the cemetery from the 36th St. entrance and she chuckled to herself.

Green-Wood unrolled in front of us as we entered the gates and passed the guardhouse on our left. Bucolic best describes the 478 acre land that was dotted with multiple bodies of water, fountains, trees, rolling lawns, massive gravestones and individual family mausoleums constructed with stone, glass and marble. Breathtaking! I briefly stopped at an information kiosk and learned that this South Brooklyn cemetery had been established in 1838 as a burial site for the burgeoning city in which it lies.. As an amateur student of history, I was drawn to the celebrity names of the past promised in the self-guiding map provided. For these departed individuals, the splendor of the mausoleums and monuments of their burial sites broadcast their influence and importance in their past lives.

DeWitt Clinton, 6th governor of New York and father of the Erie Canal, is buried on a green covered hill with a life-sized statue of himself standing on an oversized marble sarcophagus. He gazes over all of Brooklyn with his left hand raised as if shielding himself from the sun to better his view. Commanding!

Boss William Tweed, head of the 19th century corrupt political machine known as Tammany Hall, was prominently interred on Battle Hill, a revered site at Green-wood cemetery because it was the site of George Washington’s battle with the British at the inception of the Revolutionary War. A world class rogue and huckster, Tweed siphoned millions of dollars from construction of the Brooklyn Bridge, Central Park and the Courthouse in Downtown New York.

Among the century old London Plane trees and Dogwoods lies Samuel Morse beneath a Greco-Roman inspired monument. The inventor of the telegraph, classical painter and Morse Code originator had a near perfect record until he advocated for slavery during the Civil War.

While the glamor of the granite palaces marking the famous and infamous in death never failed to impress, I realized that the essence of humanity was to be found in the more modest gravesites. Thousands of small granite tombstones marked those who had served in the Civil War and the World Wars. Rows and rows of tombstones lined the grassy knolls as if the stones were marching in a regimented formation.

Fighting on opposite sides of the Civil War, William and Clifton Prentiss were reunited after sustaining mortal wounds in the same battle and interred together in perpetuity at Green-Wood.

Louis Abel, an electrical engineer serving in the 112th Infantry was stationed behind enemy lines in France during World War I. He writes his brother a letter 13 days before his death:

My dear Brother Eugene: 

As the war goes on and as I come out of each engagement still alive, I think often of those at home and wonder if I will ever see them again. You are all in my thoughts continually when I have time to think of other things besides the continual shellfire and fighting. My nerves have been sorely tried and many officers and men have lost out completely due to nervous strain making them useless. I sincerely hope all is well with you and yours. Love to all and may God who watches over us all bring us together again.

Lovingly your brother, Louis

Charlotte, a 17 year old girl on the verge of becoming a married woman, was accidentally killed in a carriage accident in 1844. She is interred next to her fiance who took his life in complete and utter grief over her unexpected death. Do-Hum-Me, an 18 year old Sac and Fox Nation Indian woman, was brought to the East in 1843 from her native lands in Iowa by her father to negotiate treaties with the federal government. She was hired by P.T. Barnum to perform Indian war dances in his New York theater. Without resistance to Western disease, Do-Hum-Me fell ill and died of an infectious disease. P.T. Barnum was so distraught he paid for her burial and tombstone. Two women, ill-fated for early deaths and thus virtually unknown during their lives, have become well-known and are frequently visited gravesites at Green-wood.

The sky darkens and a late October rain begins to fall. My wife and I open our umbrellas and prepare to depart the cemetery. We are headed back to the subway to return to Manhattan. We cannot help but to reflect on the beauty of the cemetery and the lessons it has taught us: it is the quiet lives of so many who are unsung in the world that reach out to us in the most unexpected places that remind us the importance and beauty of every life.

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