Tag: Travel

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Travel Mishaps

Fifty-two years ago my dorm roommate and I hitchhiked from the University of Buffalo to        SUNY Albany. Three successive rides found us in the commercial district of Syracuse. As the day passed, the temperature dropped and the cars whizzed by our outstretched hypothermic thumbs. Dejected, we walked to the Bus Station and contemplated our next step. With no time and no money for a round-trip to Albany and back to Buffalo, we bought a one way ticket back to our starting point of Buffalo. We sat down next to a middle aged man in a wrinkled suit and waited for our Greyhound bus. “Is there a decent restaurant around here?” we asked our seatmate. “There is a great Italian restaurant around the corner,” he stated confidently. Pooling our meager resources we sought out the trattoria and ordered a plate of pasta. The spaghetti was served as stiff as straw.  Our resident restaurant critic at the bus station had clearly steered us wrong.

Twenty years later, my hitchhiking days behind me, I drove with a friend to San Francisco. With the passenger seat littered with AAA and Rand McNally maps, my navigator advised staying on I-80 as the Embarcadero came into view.  “On no!”, I muttered, as I realized I was going the wrong way on the LONG Oakland Bay Bridge toward Oakland and was doomed to pay a double toll. 

Undeterred by my past travel mistakes, my family embarked on a European vacation at the turn of the century. My spouse, a capable cartographer and blessed with a directional sense like a passenger pigeon,  assured me that we were not going to get lost. We rented a Renault in Paris, buckled up our two boys,  and set out to discover the continent.  A few miles out  I failed to translate the “sens unique” (one-way sign, not covered in High School French). Sweating profusely, I made an instantaneous U turn and avoided a vacation ending collision. We arrived in Aachen, Germany and entered a museum devoted to Charlemagne. The exhibit explanations were in German with no translation. Ich bin ein Berliner and aufedasein were the extent of our German vocabulary. We detoured to the snack bar to complete the museum experience. That evening we arrived in Strasbourg with a thimble full of gas in the tank. The next morning, I pulled into the gas station, opened the gas tank door and noticed French instruction on the inside door (words, again not covered in High School French). I filled the tank and set off to Switzerland. A few miles onto the highway, the car started to lurch and emit a high pitched moan as I was shifting my manual transmission into 2nd gear. I got off the highway into rush hour Strasbourg traffic when the car led out a cringe worthy groan and stalled. Behind our Renault were at least 50 angry French commuters yelling French words (that again were not covered in High School French class). Later that day, a mechanic, with a cigarette dangling from the corner of his lip, informed me of my error of filling up a diesel engine with regular gas. He muttered some unintelligible French sentences but my rudimentary French picked up some words (stupide: stupid, guignol: clown).

After the ordeal, we decided to recharge with French cuisine. The bill came and I calculated the tip by mentally converting dollars into Francs. I mistakenly used the wrong currency in the calculation and was off by a factor of ten. The waiter was elated by his generous tip and my wallet was a good deal lighter.  I had finished the day with a trifecta of vacation gaffes.

I am now millions of neurons lighter in the 21st century compared with my youthful self but have gained “vacation bonus IQ points” with the advent of smartphone technology. Currency converters keep tabs on the foreign exchange markets by the nanosecond.  Apple and Google Maps keep me on track and down the right one way streets. I was cruising in the Mojave Desert on I-15 last week and the app warned of an accident (truck on fire) halting all traffic for 2 hours. As the temperatures soared in the desert, I placed a  call to the California Highway Patrol.   The California Highway Patrol representative asked, “ What lane are you in?”  “The far left lane,” I answered. “Stay in that lane. We just opened up that lane 60 seconds ago and you should be good.” Seconds later, the cars started to inch forward and we made our way past the accident. It was highway nirvana. 

Language barriers have fallen. Despite English ubiquity, Google Translate helped convert German menus, German museum placards and German signs into understandable jargon.  Impractical high school French classes devoid of real life vocabulary are no longer  dangerously impactful. Choosing a restaurant no longer requires a recommendation from a fellow bus passenger.  Today, Yelp, Google and TripAdvisor have us covered wherever we go in the world. 

 In May of this year, we took a trip through Eastern Europe for almost a month without a hitch.  I relied heavily on my technology loaded Iphone, T-Mobile cell towers and an occasional friendly recommendation from an equally tech savvy European citizen.  But travels would not be travels without mishaps that many times end up being memorable happy accidents.  The proof:  many years later these are the stories my family and I speak of and write about.

I am still recovering from my Diesel Mishap but encouraged to know that fossil fuels are in the rear view mirror and electric vehicles in the future will have only one plug to choose from. 

I

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Peering into the Past and Future: Riding Down the Rhine and Danube

It was time to travel despite a war in Eastern Europe, runaway inflation, political turmoil and exploding Omicron SARS-CoV2 variants. With a KN-95 mask, COVID antigen tests and $50 worth of digital guidebooks in hand, we boarded a river boat to glide upstream down the Rhine, Mein and Danube, from Amsterdam to Budapest  to find history, fine spirits and the origins of ancestor’s past. 

We were going to the edge of civilization, as the Romans had defined it circa 2000 years ago. The Rhine and Danube were the North and Eastern boundaries of the empire, warding off the barbarians, the Goths, Vandals, Visigoths and Franks. The Franks had plundered Eastern and Western Europe, united under Charlemagne and eventually (?with the help of intermarriage and French wine) settled down in France so their ancestors could appreciate fine architecture, food and Jerry Lewis.

 The tragedies of history were retold by guides, museums and historical plaques as the craft dodged buoys and passed feudal castles. In Amsterdam, Cologne, Regensburg, Vienna, Rothenburg, Bratislava and Budapest were military monuments, holocaust memorials, mass graves, ramparts and moats, museum artifacts, artillery and ballistic impacts on stone walls that testified to perpetual war and oppression from the Middle Ages onward. The grievances are engraved in our schoolbooks: Romans v. Barbarians, Christians v. Arabs (Crusades 1-4), Protestants v. Catholics (30 Years War and others), Ottoman Empire v. “Civilized” Europe, Habsburgs v. National Uprisings in the mid nineteenth Century, Prussian Wars of the late 19th century.  The 20th century brought us World Wars I and II ending the Holy Roman and Ottoman Empires and Hitler and the Third Reich at the expense of over 60 million lives.

As we headed South and East along the Rivers, I encountered glimpses of my Jewish heritage. The Jewish Diaspora from antiquity forced migration from Western to Eastern Europe along the Rhine and Danube. Jews were  multilingual merchants, bridging the Arab and European divide and helping to create the trade routes from Asia, Africa and Europe. They were artisans in the pre-industrial world and creators of the financial world that allowed the development of city-states. Judaism financed the release of Richard the Lion Hearted of England’s release from captivity and paid for the defense of Vienna against Ottoman Invasion in the 17th century. Yet, each town’s history was marked by the same recurring theme: Jewish expulsion and persecution.

Tragedy often begets opportunity. Science, medicine and art blossomed along these European river tributaries. Booerhaave, the Dutch physician, organized hospital divisions, defined pathology and described his eponymous esophageal rupture syndrome. Dicke, an Amsterdam physician, recognized  abdominal pain and diarrhea in Dutch children reintroduced to bread following privations of World War II and described celiac disease. Down the Rhine at Erlangen, Germany, Demling and Classen devised a modified electrified wire passed through an endoscope and allowed non surgical removal of bile duct stones in a jaundiced nurse in 1973, introducing therapeutic biliary endoscopy to the world. Wilhelm Conrad Rontgen, discoverer of X rays, taught on the Mein River at Wurzburg in the late 19th century. Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalysis treatise and practice was a part of 1890’s Vienna. Laszlo Biro from Budapest, invented the ballpoint pen and freed the world from fountain pen leakage.

Music flourished along the river, providing the world with the classics from Mahler, Mozart, Beethoven and Liszt.

 History was infused in everything we saw and consumed. I ate herring in Amsterdam as the Dutch West India Company sailors did before traveling to Nieuw Amsterdam and quaffed Riesling from The Rhine Valley from Middle Age monastery vineyards. A McDonalds and statues of Ronald Reagan and George Bush in Budapest were symbols of who won the Cold War. 

The realities of the past portend the fragility of peace for the future. The murmurs from these ancient rivers give us pause to respect and cherish our freedoms. 

Mozart’s Piano
Budapest Market
Rhine Wine
Vineyard Rudesheim Germany
Rembrandt’s Studio
Flowers in Amsterdam
On the Amsterdam Canal
Children on Margaret Island Budapest
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Traveling In Pandemic Times

My parents provided me with the usual survival tactics in childhood: “don’t put your finger in the electric socket; “don’t play stickball in a busy street;” “look both ways when crossing the street;” “put a jacket on to prevent pneumonia.” But no pandemic advice. My father, born in 1921, had missed out on the Great Influenza pandemic by 3 years. He survived the depression, World War II, the Korean War, The Cold War and Stagflation, but he had no pandemic real world experience. 

Mastering COVID avoidance was easy. I didn’t go out the front door. I wiped down every delivery with Clorox wipes. I interrogated delivery workers at the front door from 6 feet away. I masked up and social distanced with friends who took science and survival seriously. My only brush with the outside world was beamed in with cable news and internet pictures.

With viral mRNA inoculated twice into my arm, the lure of travel beckoned and with it the reality and trepidation of return to the unknown. What would airports, big cities, seeing friends and family be like after a monastic-like life for almost a year?

Armed with an  N95, surgical mask and face shield barrier, I pushed the UBER request on my app for a ride to the airport. “Please roll down the front and back windows for cross ventilation,” I directed the driver, thinking viral kinetics and air exchange. He didn’t blink an eye. At the airport, Homeland Security officers donned face shields and stood behind window barriers. Driver license identity was self-swiped at a distance. The Starbuck’s line imprints on the floor were spaced 6 feet apart and baristas looked like they were part of a surgical OR team. Sipping coffee, a learned skill honed in the past, became a conundrum when faced with two masks blocking the oral route. Should I slip the masks down or up? Should I replace the mask after each sip? Should I take the masks off completely? Should I just gulp the coffee quickly and then replace the mask? Thoughts of Dr. Fauci and the CDC flashed through my head: 10 minutes of exposure, high viral load, ventilation and symptomatic patients. I headed to the far reaches of the airport terminal, separated myself from the unmasked masses, and bolted the coffee down, nearly incurring mouth burns.

Boarding the plane entered me into a strange world. The cheap seats in the back of the plane got first dibs on boarding to limit contact time. Finally, seated, I breathed a sigh of relief when the hotly debated middle seat vacancy was enforced. Anxiety returned, as the flight attendants distributed the snacks. Was it worth unmasking for a granola bar and a small package of chips? The lure of Pringles was too great and I succumbed to temptation, all the while contemplating my eulogy, “he gave his life for a a few plain potato chips.” 

The plane hovered over LaGuardia Airport awaiting the final approach. Built on a garbage dump used for Brooklyn’s excess waste, I pondered the early Queen’s denizens grappling over their microbe challenge: Salmonella and Shigella. The plane landed, the  gate opened and I marched single file, 6 feet apart, masked and into the terminal where multiple, camouflaged clad military awaited me. Did I take the wrong flight and land in Mogadishu, Somalia? No, New York City, where Andrew Cuomo’s quarantine rules were being enforced against the blasé non-Northeastern states where I was now residing. It seemed surreal to be approached by a military serviceman and servicewoman who were both armed with weapons and asked if I had a Covid 19 PCR test performed in the last 72 hours, and if so, what was the result? Things had changed.

After claiming my luggage, I entered a NYC taxi cab to the final push to Manhattan. As I gazed upon the the facial scowl of our driver, I thought it best not to bring up the cross ventilation directions again. As I entered FDR Drive, I fixated on the credit card swipe. Can COVID exist on the card? Can I Clorox the gap? “What would Dr. Fauci do?”

Walking in Manhattan, I could immediately sense the gravity and public health compliance of the borough. This pandemic was not some abstract chyron endlessly streaming on a CNN telecast. Families and friends had been stricken with serious illness and death at the beginning of the pandemic and this crystallized the importance of public health measures. Multiple restaurants had outdoor seating ensconced within a plastic dome. At night, the yellow and purple lighting from restaurant isolation tables provided an extra-terrestrial feel. 

The ordeal was worth it after ending a year absence from family. Hugging my fully vaccinated son and and elbow bumping my unvaccinated son and daughter-in-law in the social distancing expanse of Prospect Park (thank you ,Frederick Law Olmstead) was priceless.

Many years from now, when my grandchildren gather around me and ask about the Pandemic, I’ll reply, you have to carefully peel off your N-95 mask just like this, and then get the Starbucks lid under the face shield that protects your mask and..…”

  • Fortitude, NY Public Library Lion, Masked
  • Double Masked and Ready
  • Military comes to LaGuardia
  • Outdoor Dining Bubble
  • A bubble for Two
  • Social Distancing in Prospect Park
  • Atlas Masked in Rockefeller Center
  • Unmasked Dog in Upper East Side
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Portland Exposed

Asian Dumplings from Afuri Ramen and Dumplings

Xylophone Recital at the Trailblazer Game

  • Food truck in Pioneer Square
  • Voodoo Donuts
Multnomah Falls

One of the perks of retirement is opening up a map, seeing a destination you’ve never been to and then booking it. I had never been to Portland and was curious if it’s reputation as a city of second chances, a foodie haven, a city planning Mecca or a hiking haven was reality. So with the help of Costco Travel Services, I journeyed to the Pacific Northwest for a fact finding mission. 

After touching down at the Portland Airport, the expected nightmare of big city surface transportation began. Would it be Uber/Lyft at a cost approaching the price of the plane ticket or a New York City Taxi $80-$100 price from JFK/Newark to Manhattan? To my surprise, the trip to the inner city involved use of the ubiquitous light rail (MAX). At $1.25 for a senior citizen and $2.50 for an adult it allowed a stress free ½ hour commute close to the doorstep of our hotel in downtown Portland. The light rail went about to every important destination in the city environs. The Embassy Suites was our destination abode. Formerly, The Multnomah Hotel, it had hosted the iconic Elvis Presley, Charles Lindbergh and all presidents from Teddy Roosevelt to Richard Nixon.

The sign “Keep Portland Weird” was a few blocks from the hotel and it wasn’t long before I encountered support for its message. It was on a subsequent rail experience, an elderly male with a thinning hairline and walker entered our car clutching a flask of vodka. “I honor the Ten Commandments but I can’t love my neighbor more than myself,” he exclaimed as he swigged from his flask. A dark haired man with an earring engaged him in debate of the Ten Commandments, later joined by a guy carting a bicycle on the train who also participated. As the vodka bottle was passed around to the discussants, I realized I was witnessing a Portland exclusive.

The cuisine in downtown Portland was eclectic but stellar. As craft beer had revitalized the brewing industry, Voodoo Donuts had the imprimatur of craft donuts. I went into dessert nirvana with “Old Dirty Bastard,” a donut with fudge and peanut butter capped with an Oreo-cookie dusting. The dumplings at Afuri Ramen and Dumpling, a Tokyo based Ramen restaurant were also divine. The noodle experience was accompanied with a peak into the future because artificial intelligent iPads substituted for waiters. 

To our delight, the Trailblazers were at home hosting the San Antonio Spurs in our second day in Portland. I had always wondered why my Lakers had such a difficult time in Portland, even when they had championship caliber teams. A trip to the Moda Center provided some clues. It was a Thursday night and the place was packed. A portly fan two rows up started a “Let’s Go Blazers” chant well before the singing of the national anthem. The crowd was warmed up with a swarm of 5th graders playing rhythm xylophone followed by the governor of Oregon presenting a certificate of appreciation to the team on its 50th year anniversary. The game was close and the fans were so vocal it felt like game 7 of the NBA Finals. On our light rail trip back to the hotel, a long term fan explained the phenomena in personal terms. “I’m a recovering alcoholic, been sober for 7 years and a ticket holder that long. The basketball team is all we have.” 

As a neophyte Portland tourist, the next stop was a popular destination, the Pittock Mansion. This was an early 20th century home built by Henry Pittock, the successful editor of the Oregonian. Overlooking the Williamette River and surrounded by Oregonian Pines, it was a beacon of 20th century ingenuity and a magnificent home. While I was wandering past the fine silks, wondered how a newspaper editor could amass a fortune. I came across a clue. Henry Winslow Corbett, the senator from Oregon, had provided a cash infusion to the paper in 1872 averting bankruptcy and temporarily taking control of the city newspaper. Corbett made his initial fortune by selling farm equipment and dry goods to the farmers and families newly arrived from the Oregon Trail. When the San Francisco merchants raised their prices during the California Gold Rush, Corbett was able to undercut their prices and achieve market share. You could say he was the Pacific Northwest Walmart of the 19th century! He used the paper’s influence to back  the successful campaign of Rutherford B. Hayes, the Republican candidate for President in 1876. With political influence, both Corbett and Pittock went on to amass a fortune in banking and real estate.

The Portland experience was not complete until we took an excursion down the Columbia River Gorge. Multiple waterfalls grace the shoulders of the Columbia River Scenic Highway. We stopped at the 627 foot Multnomah Falls, the largest waterfall in Oregon. It was spotted by Lewis and Clark in 1805 and does not disappoint. Hiking was challenging during the winter due to muddy trails but swathed in a conifer blanket, the ascent was still exhilarating.

If natural beauty, great food, a workable transit system and NBA basketball is your thing, I encourage you to seek out the Portland high.